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A Gentle Guide for Working Moms with ADHD

Trauma-Informed Tools for Thriving Amid Life’s Demands


1. Why ADHD Feels Different for Moms

ADHD in motherhood is often misunderstood and overlooked. Between work deadlines, school schedules, and household tasks, working moms are constantly “on.” For ADHD brains, which thrive on novelty and struggle with executive functioning, this can lead to overwhelm, self-criticism, and burnout.

You are not failing. Your brain is wired for creativity, passion, and connection—not endless multitasking. A trauma-informed approach reminds you that your worth is not tied to how perfectly you juggle it all.


2. Common Challenges for ADHD Working Moms

Time Blindness

  • You may lose track of time getting kids ready, running errands, or finishing work tasks.

  • Tip: Use “time anchors” throughout the day—alarms or smart home reminders (e.g., “Time to start dinner” or “10 minutes to school pickup”).

Task Paralysis

  • When everything feels urgent (work emails, homework, laundry), it’s easy to freeze and do nothing.

  • Tip: Ask yourself, “What’s the next smallest step?” Maybe it’s just opening your laptop or putting one load of laundry in.

Overstimulation

  • Noise, constant demands, and clutter can overwhelm your nervous system.

  • Tip: Schedule micro-breaks where you close your eyes, listen to a calming sound, or take 3 slow breaths.

Guilt & Perfectionism

  • You might feel like you’re not “doing enough” as a mom or professional.

  • Tip: Replace “I should” with “I choose” or “This is enough for today.” A simple, loving dinner counts.

Memory & Organization

  • Misplaced keys, forgotten appointments, or running late can feel like constant failures.

  • Tip: Create “launch stations” (a bin by the door for keys, school bags, etc.) and visual calendars the whole family can see.


3. Trauma-Informed Strategies for Daily Life

A. Self-Compassion First

  • Trauma and ADHD both thrive on shame spirals. Instead of “Why can’t I do this like everyone else?”, try:“I’m doing my best in this moment. My worth is not measured by my to-do list.”

  • Mom guilt check-in: Write down 3 things you did well today (even if they seem small, like hugging your child or answering one important email).

B. Executive Function Support

  • Chunking: Break big tasks into micro-pieces. Instead of “clean kitchen,” try: “Clear counters for 10 minutes,” then take a break.

  • Timers: Use the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes on, 5 minutes off) while the kids nap or play.

  • Body Doubling: Work alongside a friend on FaceTime, even if you’re doing separate tasks.

C. Work-Life Balance Tips

  • Create a Family Command Center: A weekly whiteboard calendar with meal ideas, appointments, and top priorities for each day.

  • Batch and Delegate: Pick 1–2 days for laundry or meal prep. Teach kids small age-appropriate tasks (yes, they can help sort socks).

  • Digital Declutter: Use shared online calendars (Google, Cozi) to keep all appointments in one place.

D. Nervous System Regulation

  • Mini Grounding Rituals:

    • 3 deep belly breaths before opening work email.

    • 1-minute stretch before picking up the kids.

    • A song you love while cooking dinner.

  • Transition Bridges: When switching from “work mode” to “mom mode,” take a brief reset—5 minutes alone, a quick walk outside, or a cup of tea.


4. ADHD-Friendly Parenting Tips

  • Visual Routines: Post picture-based morning/evening routines for kids to follow (it saves your brainpower).

  • Prep Zones: Keep a “go-bag” by the door (snacks, wipes, sunscreen) for quick exits.

  • Low-Energy Play: It’s okay to have cozy movie nights or quiet crafts instead of elaborate activities.


5. Dopamine & Energy Boosters

  • Morning Jumpstart: Music, sunlight, or a brief dance with your kids before the day starts.

  • Joy Lists: Write 10 tiny joys (texting a friend, coffee, petting a dog) and sprinkle them throughout your week.

  • Celebrate Tiny Wins: “I responded to that email,” “I folded 5 shirts,” “I didn’t yell when I was stressed.” These count!


6. Reframing Success

  • Your home doesn’t have to be “Pinterest perfect.” A loving presence matters more than perfection.

  • Focus on “must do, should do, nice to do.” Not everything is equally urgent.

  • Ask for help. You are not meant to do this alone—partners, family, and friends can share the load.


7. Sample ADHD-Friendly Day

Morning:

  • 10 minutes of wake-up movement (stretch, dance with kids).

  • One work task before checking email (prioritize what matters most).

Afternoon:

  • Work sprint while kids are at school or in care.

  • 10-minute “reset” (walk, music, or quiet time).

Evening:

  • Family dinner (keep it simple).

  • 15 minutes of “family tidy-up” with everyone helping.

  • Wind down with journaling or a favorite show.


8. Helpful Tools

  • Apps:

    • Cozi (family scheduling)

    • Todoist or TickTick (task lists with reminders)

    • Brili (visual routines for kids)

  • Books:

    • Your Brain’s Not Broken – Tamara Rosier

    • The ADHD Effect on Marriage – Melissa Orlov


Affirmation to Close

“I am enough as I am. My children don’t need a perfect mom—they need a present, loving mom. Every small step I take today is an act of strength and care.”

 
 
 

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